Driving Mrs. Daisy

For almost three weeks now Aaron and I have been carpooling to work. This helps us save on gas and is preparing us for what it will be like to have one car. Aaron's brother is going to be buying our Element soon. This was something we had talked about a while back because his niece loves my car and she will be 16 in October. We originally were not going to sell the Element until then, but Aaron's brother totaled his mustang...he is ok! We are not ready to purchase a new vehicle for me at this time, so we just decided we would take this opportunity to save money and gas.

I love having this extra time with my husband every morning and afternoon. It gives us more time to talk with out the distraction of tv or computers. However, I miss being able to call my mom every morning. For the past six years, I have been calling my mom in the morning while on my way to work. It has become a routine for us that I look forward to every day. This year she got a job that prevents her from talking in the morning, but after a few weeks she changed her schedule and all was well. But then I started riding to work with Aaron, and now I do not have those private moments with my mom. So, I have decided that I will call her when I am doing my makeup every morning! Aaron is usually in the shower and so this gives me a few moments with my mom every day. It would probably be different if she did not live so far away...and if she read this she would remind me that it was my choice to live 700 miles away from her. I know it was my choice, but I can still miss her!

So, in the mean time, Aaron and I will continue to ride together every morning and afternoon. Which is fine with me because I hate driving anyway!

its been a long year

I have come to the realization that daily, weekly, or even monthly blogging may not be for me! Especially since it has been a year since my last post...

A few things have happened lately that have forced me to sit back and re-evaluate my life. I started grad school in September and that is something that has most certainly taught me time management! It is a lot of homework and writing, but in the end it will all be worth it...hopefully! I have given up a few things at school, such as being a cheer coach, to give myself more time to focus on my school and family.

Last May Aaron and I decided that we would try to start a family. This has turned into an experience that I never thought I would have to go through. Over the past year and a half I have I watched a few of my dearest friends be blessed with the most beautiful babies and I could not be happier for them. I treasure the times when I am allowed to hold and love on these precious miracles. But I have these thoughts in the back of my mind wondering when I am going to be blessed with this same miracle; I know that I can not live through my friends forever.

Aaron and I have been going to doctors since the beginning of June trying to get my stubborn body to work right. Imagine going to the doctor several times a month only for them to tell you that everything you have tried, all the drugs you are putting into your body, are not working. I listen to the stories my friends tell about being pregnant and I want to be able to share those same type of stories.

I hear stories of people who have had abortions, or who really dont want to have a baby, and they are walking around pregnant right now. Or I hear another story about a woman who is drinking and smoking while pregnant. Or even the women who just leave their baby in a trash can somewhere. I can not help but wonder why those people are allowed to experience the miracle of being pregnant and giving birth. Why them and not me, someone who really wants to live through the experience and give a child a loving home.

But, this is when I have to sit back and remember that this is not all up to me. I have to let go remind myself that I am not in charge of this part of my life. That there is some reason, unknown to me right now, as to why I am not pregnant yet. We know that everything works, my ovaries are just stubborn and apparently have a plan as to when they are going to let some of their little eggs go!

In the meantime, I have to be thankful for my friends who allow me to love on their babies as much as I want and provide as much support as they can. I also have to remember that I have been blessed with the most supportive and loving husband that a woman could ask for.

Career Changes

Ever since I met Aaron has has talked about how the idea of going into real estate appeals to him. Well, a few weeks ago he finally made the decision to jump into the process of getting his real estate license and will soon be on his way to selling and listing homes.
I am very excited for this new endeavor, but also a bit worried. We are not in a position for Aaron to completely quit his current job so he will have to carry both jobs for a few months. My last post about time management would fit in quite well here! We are going to be balancing our personal lives along with both of his jobs for a while. I am sure this will not be easy, but hopefully it is rewarding in the long run. We both have goals for ourselves and our future family and in order to reach those goals we will have to make it through the next few months together peacefully!
Changing careers is not easy for anyone at any age. When I decided almost four years ago to go into teaching I was scared! I didn't know what was on the path ahead of me, and even sometimes I still don't. Aaron however, is going into a field that is never as consistent as teaching! There is no doubt in my mind that he will be successful and that he is going to put all he has into this career jump.
So, if you or anyone you know across this country is looking for a house, or selling a house please let us know! It would help Aaron get a head start on this new endeavor! He can help anyone across the country, so hesitate to contact us :-)

time management

Now that I am married I have become more aware of how I spend my time. During my first two years of teaching I was not so concerned with getting home right after school. Dont get me wrong, I loved coming home to Aaron. But there is something different about knowing I am going to home to my husband. Knowing that most of the time he is there waiting for me to come home.

The downside to all this is that I have become so involved at school that I do not get home until much later than I used to. I love what I do at school and do not want to give anything up, but everyday I have to keep in mind that I can not stay and socialize after cheer practice or games. I need to get home to my husband!

As humans we must treasure every moment we have with our loved ones. No one has discovered this infamous fountain of youth yet, so we do not have forever to spend with our family. Almost everyday I am reminded of this and I tell myself that I need to call my mom and talk to her, or that I need to send Aaron a quick email reminding him how much I love him. We may get in arguments with someone we love, and we may not always be happy with the way that person is acting; but we still have to treasure the amount of time we have to share our love.

is life really different?

Since the wedding day people ask me all the time what married life is like. I have to say that so far there are only a few things that are different from what they were before the wedding. There are a few obvious things like combined bank accounts, calling each other hubby and wifey, and we are a little more conscience of the decisions we make about everything.
Our conversations about having a family and where we should settle down to have a family have become more serious as well. I never understood until now how serious conversations like this really need to be and how much these decisions can change ones life. I said for a long time that I want kids and I want them now. And even now with one friend pregnant and another one is getting ready to start trying, I think to myself, "well how come I am not trying yet?"
I go through moments of being a tiny bit jealous and then moments of thinking "am I really ready to change my life so dramatically?" At this point I really dont know. I dont know if I am ready to interrupt our newlywed life. Is that ok to feel like that?
We have decided that a few things need to happen before kids come along, so it will be a while. We know that if God decides that we need a child sooner that He will provide us with one. But for now I will probably keep flip flopping with my feelings and I will provide as much love as I can for all my "kids" at school.

My Dads Song

Here are the lyrics to the song my dad had written for the father/daughter dance.

I cried the day that you were born, as I held you in my arms, for the first time.
I watched you grow through childhood woes, into this young mans, wife
(chorus)
I've seen you laugh, I've seen you cry, I've seen you fail, and I've seen you try.
I tried to keep you safe the best I could, But you're not my little girl, anymore

I gave you music, "Do you remember Kansas live?", I took you campin', and some fishin' we tried.
And we always had our favorite game, but"will you go play", just don't seem the same.
(chorus)

I held you back that year, you thought me a fool, be damn glad, you weren't home schooled.
I did my best to be your dad, I must be good, cause you didn't turn out half bad.

I've seen you laugh, and I've seen you cry.
To see you change, as the years go by.
One thing I know, I'll always be your dad, but you're not my little girl, anymore.
And this special note, for this young man, If you ever hurt his little girl, "On behalf of Steve's friends, I'm not afraid to go back to PRISON"

my favorite wedding memory

I have to admit that the one thing I was most nervous about when it came to the wedding reception was the father/daughter dance. My dad and I have never been the mushy feely type with each other. We get along and I know I can talk to him when I need to, but I am definitely closer to my mom.
Mom and dad would not tell me what song dad and I were going to dance to. I know dad wanted to be able to choose the song, so I allowed him that. We both knew that we did not want any of the traditional father daughter songs b/c those songs are just not us songs. So when it came time for the father daughter dance I braced myself for what ever song was going to come through those speakers.
Thats when dad said that he had a surprise for me. I saw one of our long time family friends getting his guitar out and going up on stage. I immediately started crying. Never in a million years did I expect dad to have some one perform for me! Then Dave started singing, not only was he performing for us, he was performing a song that he and my dad wrote just for me. How PERFECT! There were lyrics in that song that told stories from the day I was born up until now. I never felt closer to my dad than I did at that exact moment. I LOVE YOU DAD!!